i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
