he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
