For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
