just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
