look no pants
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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