I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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