i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She bit a glass in half.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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