Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
