just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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