Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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