we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
