The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
