I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
