you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
