Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
