I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
