im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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