Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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