Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
