you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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