It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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