guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
