see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
third nipple confirmed
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
