Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
