SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
