Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Holy shit dude........stairs
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
