We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
