why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
