how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
