accomplished twins. life is a go
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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