rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
