ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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