my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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