fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
