T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Someone came in the potted fern
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
