need another drink. this is the easiest way
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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