I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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