babies were throwing up all over the place
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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