If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
