So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
