...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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