Your mouth is God's brothel.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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