he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
