We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So squirting runs in the family.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
