You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
where are you?
Hypothermia
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Randomize
