If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
