I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
