I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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