But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Soap is not a condiment
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
