I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
