How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
