So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
