I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
