Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
