my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
