I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
