Will you blow on my dice?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
