My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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