question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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