I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
