she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
