I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
