I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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