i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
3 2 1 whiskey
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
