I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
