I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
