remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
