Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
