It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sext me about skeletons
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
