Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
