its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
